Teenagers especially at the age of 18 have a very hard time trying to balance their time with friends and families. Not to mention the stress added by being in college.
I started to feel the pressure of balancing the two when I was in my First year in College. Everyone knows that when you enter college, you no longer hold your own time; everything you plan can change in a second because of unfinished business at school. You always have to go home late because of a lot of homework to do, you get caught up in deadlines, surprise quizzes, long tests, projects, especially the never ending line of reports. It’s hateful, the stress is overwhelming and at the end of the day, you feel like “Oh no, I have to do the same thing all over again tomorrow!”
There was this one situation when I was supposed to meet some of my friends from High School, were suppose to have our special night out together. It was planned a week before the actual day we’d meet. It was a well laid plan, we texted each other, we posted dates on the internet, some of us bought new clothes to wear for our special night out. In a way, it was a time for me to unwind after a long week of stress from school. So I was really looking forward for our night out. And then, my mom just bluntly announced to everyone in the house that we’re all going to my grandmother’s 85th birthday at Tandang Sora on the same day I planned going out with my High School friends. Dad always says that when you want a certain event of yours to not get mixed up with others; ask permission to them at least 3 days before the planned date. I tried to reason with mom highlighting what dad told me before. But unfortunately, Mom disagreed. She asked a question that knocked me off my feet; “Yang barkada mo o kami?” To be honest, that day, I wanted to scream my friends’ names out but I know she’ll get mad so she left me with no choice; I had to cancel the night out with my friends in the last minute.
My friends got so upset that they blocked me off of our communication system for almost a week. See this is what I’m trying to talk about; parents don’t usually get us teenagers when it comes to our friends. They hold on to the idea that teenagers are comfortable talking about personal stuffs with them. Well that’s not entirely possible. We have boundaries; we have issues that only we teenagers would understand. Just because we often hang out with our friends most of the time doesn’t mean we love them any less. There are also times when we feel like we’ve been away from our friends for so long and when we ask permission from our parents, they’d say “Di ka pa ba nagsasawa kakagala? Minsan ka na nga lang dito sa bahay eh!” and you’ll be like, “what?! When was the last time I’ve been with my friends?” then, when you stay home, nothing significant happens and it really gets to you often times.
But as time goes by, I began to realize that it’s really hard on their part to reach out to us. We sometimes have to admit that it’s hard to start a conversation with us when we go home tired and exhausted from school, right? So they also try to understand us, and that single day when you have nothing to do is very important to them. Before, I wondered why do they want me to stay home when there’s nothing to do but sit and watch TV or surf the internet while I could have fun outside with my friends. The answer became clear to me when my mom got ticked off at me just a few weeks ago because of my unbalanced time with friends. She told me that the reason why they want me to stay home is because they wanna know new things about me, even with just sitting on the couch and watch movies. It’s like the only time they can reach out to you, besides breakfast and late dinners. So I’ve come to think that, yeah, maybe it wouldn’t hurt if I’d invest more time with my family for once in a while. It’s not like my friends would go away if I hang with them less.
Yes, there’s this different atmosphere when you’re with your friends. You become more of yourself, sometimes you don’t. They say that we have to choose between friends and families at some point. But why do we have to choose, if we could try to manage our time properly? Maybe there’s no need for choosing, we just have to work things out because no matter how hard we try, there would always be situations like the situation I sited a while ago. The important thing is that we should always remember that family comes first, above everything else. Friends could be a blessing. If they are true, they’ll stick with you till the end. But family is higher than that. As the famous line goes; “No one knows you better than your family.” Teenagers, never let your friends get in the way with your time with your family, it always ends badly. Just try to remember that being a teenager has a lot of responsibility to hold on to, and you’re gonna need both family and friends to get you through the day. So try not to lose one of them…
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